Introducing ‘Nerly Tru’ – Again.

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rursus-goblin

They sent me back. Again! Sometimes the gods can be so…

Worst of all, they expect me to talk with you.

Well, I’ve made an effort, and with surprising results. Apart from those that ran away, most people I spoke with were reasonable, some were even pleasant company. Yes, one or two were strange and one was, well, weird might be the best word, but, on the whole, one on one, I have to admit that I like people.

But I still hate the human race.

You are still acting in the same ways that forced the gods to kick you off our planet. Yes, you got that part of the legend right. Unfortunately, you got almost everything else wrong, though that may have been a side-effect of the god-magic. More likely it is a simple reflection of the way you think.

For over 400 years you’ve known that the Earth isn’t the centre of your solar system and I believe the idea has been around for a lot longer than that.

So why do you still think that the human race is the centre of the universe?

Gee! Some of you even think the whole place was created just for you. Chaos would laugh.

Well, I have to go but I’ll be back. And take no notice of that picture. I’m much more handsome. Green, yes, but the eyes aren’t red and I don’t have any unsightly hair, anywhere. And, like any goblin, I’m much more rotund. Yes, I hear you sniggering, but it’s all muscle, as your ancestors discovered. Think, ah, think Shrek, but a head shorter and much rounder.

Goodbye humans. Unfortunately, I will be back.

 

 

Goblin Behaviour

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Humans strive so hard for prestige and honours and the respect of other humans. Goblins don’t care about that.

Humans work so hard to accumulate wealth, power and possessions. Goblins don’t care about that.

Humans denigrate others of their race because they are a different colour or have a different religion or political belief. Goblins never do that.

The few very rich humans get richer and richer while the many very poor humans get poorer and poorer. Goblins don’t even have money.

Many humans party all night, eat huge repasts and drink lots of alcoholic beverages. Goblins love to do that. Actually, we don’t party all night because we usually pass out well before morning.

Ah, this is a waste of time. If you humans really want to learn more about goblin behaviour, read my treatise, ‘The Goblin Creed’ in ‘The Goblin Chronicles’.

Goblins are Green

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Rursus-Goblin-997 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yes, goblins are green. I could never understand why the humans left on Langamich after the Clysm thought it was so funny. Not that their jokes were very funny.

And who are you humans to joke about colour? So many different colours yourselves and not one of them remotely attractive. Perhaps that’s why you insist on dressing in such finery – to hide the drab colour of your skin.

Not all goblins are the same shade of green – not like our distant ancestors before the Clysm – but we’re still basically green. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be different. Purple with pink spots, perhaps? Or every colour of the rainbow like the huge chaos butterflies and when they flutter their wings at a certain speed, they disappear. Or every tribe of goblins could be a different colour, like the magical dragons.

Ah, we’re just green.

There is a theory that it acts as camouflage as we move through the mountain forests but the goblins at the time of the Clysm lived along the coastal plains of Sharmich and I believe that it was the same on the other continent of Teramich.

Perhaps circumstances forced them down to the coast, much as, during the time of the Chronicles, we were slowly forced across the continent to the western mountains. Perhaps it was part of the reason the gods felt compelled to act.

But I digress. If you humans really want to learn about the typical goblin, than you need to read my treatise.

I should explain before you read the treatise ‘A Typical Goblin‘. A certain human who dares to call himself a writer suggested that I use too many adjectives and that I sometimes repeat myself.

Maybe I overreacted.

 

Introducing Nerly Tru

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Humans! I have to talk with humans. Huh, only because the gods wish it.

So, they want me to tell you about my world. Do they really think humans will learn from the story? Look at your own history. Sometimes the gods can be so…

Yes, I’m from another world and I’m a goblin. The Goblin Chronicles will tell the tale of my world if I can ever get that scribe to do some work. Unfortunately, most goblins aren’t that fond of writing, or reading. We’re more about talking and listening.

Did you hear that humans – listening?

How are you reading this if I’m from another world? Magic, of course. Not goblin magic. Most goblins don’t have magic. No, this is god magic, the same magic that almost destroyed our world.

That was the Clysm, and, apart from some notes by one of my ancestors, the beginning of our recorded history.

The Clysm. Sometimes the gods can be so…

Ah well, if you want to learn more about the Clysm, go to the Goblin Chronicles page for my treatise.